Vriska X John: I won't let you be alone
by Isura Hikari
Summary: Now that their worlds are all in order, feelings are being allowed to blossom. But when confusion and old walls are thrown into the mix, things get difficult. God, Vriska is such a tsundere. (Implied Dave and Terezi) (I don't know who made the cover art. Whoever did, you're awesome. Please don't get mad that I used it)
1. Chapter 1

Vriska Serket depsised couples. They were soooooooo happy all the time, and her stupid girl-friends were always trying to set her up with _all _of the single trolls. All of them. They were always meddling! Meddling, meddling, meddling!

At this point, the only person that didn't bother her about filling her damn quadrants was...

EB: hey! :)

Her cerulean heart thudded in her chest. _John._

AG: hey ::::)

Yes, the only person that didn't piss her off was John Egbert, the movie dork. Too bad that Vriska knew that her relationships were destined to fail. Eridan, Tavros, hell, even Alternate Vriska and John broke up! She'd cried too many tears eightfold to let herself care about him, or anyone.

But that didn't stop her from answering his messages, day after day, night after night, staying up ridiculously late talking about Nic Cage movies.

EB: what's up? it's been a while

Vriska giggled. _Oh, eternitites._

AG: Yeah, a whole three hours.

EB: i've missed you

A strange feeling invaded Vriska's abdomen.

AG: yeah...

It made her sad to not _really _respond, to not tell him that she had missed his human sarcasm, his bad jokes, his-

EB: So, how's life?

_Oh shit. He always uses correct puncuation and capitalization when he's upset. _That's what Dave had said.

_"Hey, don't go breaking his heart." Vriska turned around in confusion. _

_"Huh? I think you've got the wrong troll, Dave-human. Against popular belief, we don't all look the same." _

_The blond teenager shook his head. "Nah. You're cuter." He winked at her and Vriska scowled. _

_"Nice try," she sneered. She started to walk away, but he clamped a hand, strong with years of record spinning, on her shoulder. _

_"Dude. I mean it, don't break John's heart. He's a geeky, bad movie-obsessed, naive kid who capitalizes things when he's upset and blindly trusts any troll girl that tells him to blast off with a rocket pack. Don't break his heart, cuz it's gonna be my damn job to put him back together. "_

She'd laughed it off then, but then she hadn't actually car-

EB: I mean, if you're ok for talking.

AG: Of course I am!

EB: oh. ok.

She breathed a sigh of relief. No more capitalization. Vriska's fingers flew across her keyboard and John typed back even faster. She giggled, scrolling through his long-winded speech about yet another Earth movie she hadn't seen.

_It's not like I'm flushed or anything...but this is nice. _


	2. Chapter 2

John sat back at his husktop, sighing contentedly. Another long converation with Vriska. Ever since they'd finished the game, it had become harder and harder to think of topics to talk about.

Not that he was getting bored of talking to her. Never! He'd be ok with just listening to her talk about baked goods for christ's sake!

There was no denying it. John Egbert was head over heels for a cerulean alien chick.

That sounded so much better in his head.

He hated it when she left their conversations. He'd just re-read her messages for another hour, hoping to hang onto a little piece of her. Dave had said he was practically turning into a teenage girl over the whole things.

Sure, when Karkat had first showed him that shipping diagram, way back, he'd been ok with the idea of marrying Rose. But that was before Vriska came to _him _when she had killed Tavros and needed someone to talk to about her guilt, or that she had leveled _him _through God Tier.

Also, the fact that Rose was immersed in a certain jade-green alien chick only served to fragment Karkat's diagram further.

John couldn't take it. He flicked open Pesterchum.

EB: hellllllllp

TG: dude

TG: the eights are only cute with her

EB: oops.

EB: it's kinda a habit now. oh well.

TG: oh god. even I'm not this-

TG: nevermind

TG: what's up?

TG: wait no, let me guess

TG: you're messaging me because you just got done talking to her and are about to do something stupid and need me to distract you

EB: ...

EB: I hate it when you're right

TG: Dude, let that shit out

TG: Open it up, like a brand fuckig new bottle of apple juice

TG: spill your secrets like a previously mentioned fine-ass apple juice

TG: let it out bro. keep it flowing.

EB: have you been hanging around Gamzee?

TG: it's better than hanging out with TZ

TG: man, i don't know what the fuck is up with her

EB: troll girls are kinda complicated

EB: I was thinking about talking to Kanaya, you know, about Vriska? she knows her pretty well

TG: no

TG: fuck

TG: Dude i don't even

TG: Kanaya was all pale and shit with her yeah, but was crushing on her or something before she was all up in the red with Rose. Who knows what the hell is going on in that chick's brain

TG: besides, we're men. We can figure things out all on our lonesome.

EB: Oh. Well, shit, ok.

EB: how do you know about the trolls' love lives?

TG: ...

TG: I talked to Nepeta too.

TG: she's cool

EG: yeah. well, i gotta go. bye.

John shut his laptop. _Arrrrrrrrgh. Why are girls so complicated? It's like trying to read Rose's Sburb walkthrough! Only harder, 'cuz there's no spellcheck. Or something. I can't even keep my analogies straight!_

Maybe it was time to throw in the towel for self-pity tonight. This whole thing was only making him more confused about analogies, and he had bigger things to worry about right now.

John retreated to his bed, turning towards his clock.

_Only three more hours till she's online. _


	3. Chapter 3

_Only two hours and fifty-six minutes until he's online. _

_Not that I care. _

Vriska glared at her alarm clock.

_Soooooooo sloooooooow!_

What was there to do, waiting for your cru- ACCQUAINTENCE to get online? She could message one of her other friends, but that'd be fucking pointless! She didn't _want _to talk to them. They were so happy and cheerful and-

GC: H3Y! :]

Fuck.

AG: What do you w8nt?

GC: OOH, SOM3ON3'S T3STY

GC: BOYFR13ND NOT ONL1N3 Y3T?

AG: You're starting to sound like me

AG: Leave the sass to me, "sen8tor"

AG: And he's not my boyfriend.

GC: OH PL34S3

GC: 1 KNOW THE F33LS

GC: 1'M W41T1NG FOR D4V3 ;]

Vriska rolled her eyes. The _last _thing she cared about was Terezi and Dave's on again, off again relationship. She had some sympathy though. Poor Terezi. Dave was harder to read than Karkat, and twice as flirty.

AG: I don't mean to 8e rude, 8ut...

AG: I don't re8lly care

GC: OUCH

GC: VR1SK4, 1'M HURT. YOU'V3 ST4BB3D M3 W1TH YOUR SWORD OF D1R3CTN3SS, P13RC1NG THROUGH THE 4RMOR OF FR13NDSH1P TH4T W3 SH4RE. 1'M BL33DING GU1LT THROUGH TH3 CH34P C4RP3T OF THE COLD, CR4MP3D J41LC3LL YOU C4LL YOUR H34RT

GC: OOH, H3'S ONL1N3. BY3!

Vriska growled in annoyance. Like she cared. All that "ooh, he's online!' was just stupid, couple-y bullshit. And that bullshit didn't deserve her time. She shut her husktop, feeling aggravated.

And then turned it back on. _Dammit, I'm so weak!_

She sat there, staring at the screen. _Today's the day. Today's the day. I don't care if he's not online yet, Today's the day that I actually do something. _

She took a deep breath ad began to type. _Would you like-_

GC: BTW, 4R3 YOU GO1NG TO K4RK4T'S P4RTY?

GC: 1 H4V3 TO GO, CUZ D4V3 W4NTS TO GO

_Oh for the love of Jegus! _Vriska had forgotten all about Karkat's damn 'party'. Stupid nooksniffer.

AG: Yeah. I think I'm going.

AG: What's a party without the 8addest 8itch in Sgru8? :::;)

GC: BL4R, 1 DON'T W4NT TO GO

GC: YOU JUST KNOW 1T'S GONN4 B3 K4RK4T TRY1NG TO FL1RT.

GC: 4ND F41L1NG.

_Huh? Flirting with who? _KK had been absolutely heartbroken after Terezi dumped him for Dave. Maybe he was _fiiiiiiiinally_ responding to Nepeta's feelings?

AG: With who? Is he over you?

GC; GOG, 1 HOP3 SO

GC: AND H3 TOT4LLY L1K3S JOHN HUM4N. DUH.

GC: WH3R3 H4V3 YOU B33N?

Vriska froze. Stopped moving, stopped blinking, _everything. _

AG: Wh8t

AG: I th8ugh hum8ns h8d o8jections to that kind8 stuff.

GC: WHO4, C4LM YOUR 31GHTS

GC: 1'M RUNN1NG OUT OF S4L1V4

AG: I'm le8ving. What Karkat does is his own business, I didn't need to know th8t.

Vriska seethed with anger. The last time she'd seethed with anger, somebody died. _And _the time before that. _How dare Karkat? HOW DARE HE?_

Calm down.

_NO!_

Yes.

_NO!_

Fucking. Yes.

_Fine._

Vriska felt her eyes welling up. What the hell?! She couldn't possibly be _upset. _No way. No reason to be _upset, _now was there?

She was NOT going to that movie. Not now, not ever. Stupid fucking John!

Stupid her.

She cradled her face in her hands, wiping away her forbidden tears so fast it chafed. _How could I have let myself care? Why? I hadn't planned to._

Her pesterchum dinged cheerfully. _Shut up!_ She wanted to scream at it.

EB: hey! :D

Her knees wobbled. _No. No more. _She stood up and turned her husktop off. _No more of any of them. I can't let myself care a8out any8ody 8ut myself. _

Vriska flicked off her lights and cried herself to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

EB: vriska?

EB: vriskaaaaaaaaa?

EB: oops, that was nine

EB: i guess you fell asleep

EB: i was wondering if I'd see you at Karkat's tomorrow?

EB: um if you're going

EB: or even if you get this message

EB: bye, i guess

Why wasn't she answering? Whyyyyyyyy?  
John slumped down on his swively chair (only the best kind of chair ever. Duh, looking dejectedly at his laptop.

_I bet she's upset. I wish she would respond. _His thoughts flowed like Sollux's mind honey, _I would listen. I'd always listen. Your thoughts and hopes and dreams and wishes, I'll listen to them all! Even if you think they're trivial, they're not! Not to me. Everything about you, your eyes, your cockiness, the way you hide the fact that you care about your friends, I love everything!_

_I...love you._

The thought came to him out of the blurring frenzy of his mind, icy cool and crystal clear.

EB: 3

His heart pounded. _Shit. _Had he really just sent that? _Well. Fuck._ Double facepalm combo!

He did though. He felt like his entire heart had just expanded, and the least he could do to prevent it from spilling out with the rest of his emotions was to send that tiny, tiny virtual heart. He felt like he could cry, if only Dave hadn't given him a thousand lectures on not to. His whole world was brighter.

_I love her._


	5. Chapter 5

_I can't. Don't feel it, ignore it. My feelings aren't there._

Vriska held her head, keeping the pain inside. She couldn't let herself care. Whenever she did, _this _happened.

Normally she flew at a thousand miles per hour, but sometimes? Sometimes she stopped. Crashed. All the bad things she had done came back. She'd _killed _people. People she'd cared about! People she could have been great friends with, _should _have been great friends with! Everyone hated her!

She'd always had to pretend that being called a spiderbitch didn't hurt. That none of it hurt.

John did. John hurt.

She'd actually thought he wanted her. What a fool she was. Why want her? The jerk, the murderer, the 8addest 8itch in Sgrub. Why want her? He's better off with Karkat.

Her frustration exploded and she whipped a magic eight ball at her wall. it shattered and a shard ricocheted and cut her good arm. She didn't even wince.

That pain was nothing compared to the pain in her heart.

Why did she have to care? About him? It would have been easier to want Kanaya, or Tavros, or even that fucking fishbreath Eridan. That wouldn't hurt.

_What's the point? No one to see, no one to talk to. No one to bother about now. I'm better off now. All alone, in the dark._

_If there's no one who cares? then what's the point of doing anything? Emotions are really just a show so people will notice. If I'm telling myself I don't want anyone to know or care, why do I wish someone would?_

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

Her head shot up at the knocks. Those were real knocks. Oh fuck. She rubbed her bleary eyes, hoping it didn't look like she had cried.

_Knock. Knock. Knock. _

She hopped up and hurried towards her door. _Who the hell would 8e 8othering me now? People don't visit me unless I've 8lackmailed them._

An opening of the door answered her question.

_Oh, right._

"Vriska..." her large, jade-green eyes stared into her own cerulean pupils. It was clear.

Kanaya knew everything.

Vriska wasn't sure if she was already on the floor or if she had collapsed. _I can't do it. I can't keep my brave face._

"Oh, Vriska," Kanaya sat on the floor with her, rubbing circles on her shoulder-blade. "You've finally cracked." Kanaya wrapped her arms around Vriska's shaking, sobbing body. "You can't hide your emotions forever. Even when we were moirails, you never really opened up to me. The one person you opened up to...that was John."

Vriska opened her mouth in a silent wail at his name. "I wasn't supposed to, to, to-" She broke off, trying to suck her tears in. Trying to make all the pain go away.

"Vriska...you can't just not love people because of failures in the past. Because sometimes it hurts. That's what I've learned from the humans." Kanaya's voice was gentle and calming, almost making Vriska sadder. It just reminded her of all the shit she had pulled, all the hearts she had broken herself. Kanaya had been one of them.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I'm so sorry. I _did _care about you. I really did. You were the best and probably only friend I ever had. We were so close once, before the game." her tears finally stopped streaming down her cheeks.

"We could be like that again, if you like. My pale quadrant is still empty." Kanaya giggled, "but my red quadrant will stay full for a while, Ok?"

Vriska giggled softly to herself. "Don't worry, a moirail is all I need now." She hugged Kanaya tightly.

_All I needed was a friend..._


	6. Chapter 6

John was pacing nervously. Vriska hadn't been online in two days. Had she finally tired of him? Did he annoy her? All he wanted was to be close to her...to hug her.

Not that he hadn't ever imagined more, but hey, baby steps.

He'd hoped to see her at Karkat's party tonight, but now he wasn't even sure if she'd be there. It was the first time he was in love with a girl for God's sake, would no one tell him what to do?!

_Tell her how you feel._

What if she says no?

_She won't!_

Maybe she will!

_And maybe she won't!_

And maaaaaaaaybe this whole thing was just giving John a big headache.

TG: john

TG: bro

TG: be at karkats party

TG: BE THERE

_Whoa, the heck? _Dave was offline again, leaving John puzzled.

_I guess...I'll be there? _


	7. Chapter 7

"Vriska. Do you know what tonight is?"

Kanaya and Vriska were still at Vriska's house, cheerfully wathcing Troll A Cinderella Story. Apparently, what they had done for the past two days was called a "Girl's Night".

"Um, Friday? What else?"

Kanaya gave Vriska a look that made her nervous.

"Kanaya..?"

"It's Karkat's party tonight."

Vriska knew that look.

That look was determination.

"Oh no. Oh _hellllllll _no. I am _not _going." She folded her arms defiantly. "No way, no how."

Kanaya's eyes had a steely glint. "Yes, you are."

"Uh-uh. I'm not going anywhere near _you-know-who _or that lovesick fuckass trying to flirt with him." Vriska flipped her hair. _I'm had enough emotion for now. Love sucks!_

Kanaya raised a perfectly arched eyebrow. Vriska's palms began to feel clammy. If there was one thing that was scary as hell, it was Kanaya when she was determined. Last time _that _happened, Gamzee had gotten his bone bulge royally whacked by her glowy, rainbow-drinker high-heeled boot, Eridan had gotten sliced in half by _a fucking chainsaw, _and Vriska had gotten cussed out so badly it slingshot her into a short-lived flushed crush.

If there was one thing you didn't want, it was that version of Kanaya.

Vriska was weak from yet another crying jag (Damn you locker room scene!) and maybe, just maybe, she wanted to go along with Kanaya's crazy scheme. Whatever it was, when Kanaya lunged at her and dragged her to the bathroom, Vriska submitted.

Vriska started blearily in the mirror. "Kanaya, I don't want to go to Karkat's, really." She whined this mantra as Kanaya wrestled her sleep-tousled hair in soft waves, as she lined and mascara'd her lashes, as she dug to _verrrrrrrrry _back of her closet and pulled out a ruffled blue dress that Kanaya had made for her back in the day.

"C'mon, Vriska," Kanaya pleaded, "getting ready for a party is almost more fun than the part itself!"

Vriska scoffed. "Knowing Karkat's parties, that's definitely true. Why does he have so many movie parties if he hates people? He has _issues_."

Kanaya was pawing through Vriska's closet again, throwing things behind her frantically.

"Kanaya, what are you even looking for?"

"Ah-ha! Found it!" she pulled out a pretty purple dress, holding it to her willowy frame. "Still fits!"

"Whoa, since when are _your _old clothes in _my _closet?" Vriska demanded. So not cool! That dress was cute! If she had known that was in there, she could have worn it!

Dammit.

Kanaya giggled softly to herself, "Remember when we had Little Sleep, Feather Whacking, Emotional Clusters?"

"Um, yeah"

"Anyways, humans call them _sleepovers. _I stored clothes here, just in case. What did you think I've worn for the past two days?" She pulled out makeup and-

"_Heels?! _No WAY am I wearing heels." Vriska cocked an eyebrow. It was just a damn Karkat party, and Vriska wasn't even going to go!

Right?

"Yes, you are~!" Kanaya singsonged. "Mwahahaha!" She chased Vriska around the room, waving the shoes around. Vriska giggled, beginning to feel like her old self. Her _true _self, the one people didn't see.

They both collapsed on her bed, panting.

"Vriska. I care about you dearly, and I think the best thing for you is to go! Talk to him! If necessary, just go up and say "I love you", then walk out!"

She gaped indignantly. "I never said I-"

"Vriska, please. I know love when I see it." She smiled at her, her green eyes twinkling. 'Will you go?"

She took a deep breath and reached for the heels.

"I'm _soooooooo_ gonna regret this."


	8. Chapter 8

"Hi Karkat!" John said cheerfully. The grouchy troll actually cracked a smile, making John wonder what _he _was so happy about. Karkat motioned him in and John immediately scanned the crowd.

Feferi was excitedly (no surprise there, huh?) chatting with Sollux, Eridan looked like he was using cheesy pickup lines on Aradia, Equius glared at Nepeta who was now pouncing over to-

Kiss Karkat.

Well. That happened.

He didn't see Kanaya, Terezi, Dave, or Vriska.

The door flung open. Yup, there was Dave, arm-in-arm with Terezi, making his classic dramatic entrance. Kanaya had flounced in after them, heading over to Rose as they both giggled like schoolgirls.

But where was-

"Wow," John whispered, gazing reverently at the gorgeous troll who had just walked through the door.

She bit her bottom lip, looking around the room. She was so beautiful, everything else in the room seemed fuzzy by comparison.

What was he going to say?


	9. Chapter 9

_Shit. Where was he? _There was Eridan, Aradia, Feferi, Sollux, Equius-

Holy crap, was that Karkat and Nepeta? _Oh yeah! So called it! _Vriska thought proudly. _But then what the hell did Terezi think? She said KK liked-_

"Hey," a shy voice said. A very familiar shy voice, belonging to one John Egderp.

_Confident. Confident. Remember what Kanaya told you._

"Hi." God, this was grrrrrrrreat. Conversation was really flowing now, huh? She looked down at her feet, not looking him in the eye.

"I...I..." she stuttered. _Crap, crap, CRAP! Say SOMETHING!_

Don't break his heart. That's what Dave said.

_You know, I think it might be the other way around._

Try your hardest, said Kanaya.

_I'm not sure how hard I want to try! How hard can I try? Will it matter if I try my hardest? Will any of it matter?!_

Go for it! Terezi told her.

_You know what? I'll keep my promises. I'll share my advice. I'll plunge into unknown territory. _

_For you._

She inhaled deeply and met John's eyes. She wasn't afraid anymore.

"I love you," she said.

Randomly, she giggled. Vriska felt free.

"Huh?" John's eyes were wide with disbelief.

"I love you!" She let a grin escape her and reached for his hand. "John, I really love you! You're the only person I can tell everything to! You're a sanctuary in a world that hates me. But you know what? Even if you don't love me, even if you don't want me, I'm not alone! I'll always love you, because I'll always have love to give!"

In a fit of impulsiveness, she kissed him and all her troubles floated away.

Even if he didn't love her, she wasn't alone in the world anymore. She had said that, and it was true. John Egbert had reawakened her emotions and brought them to life. She _felt _and _cared_. She would always love him, simply because she did. She pulled back, opening her eyes.

"You're wrong." He said quietly.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Even if you don't love me..." he repeated. "That's wrong. Vriska, I _do _love you. Even when all I knew of you were the cryptic messages you were sending me on Pesterchum, I knew you were special. I love you too." He returned her grin. "So you don't have to worry about me not loving you! I don't think i could stop if I tried."

Vriska realized dimly that the blurring in the room was tears. Her eyes were welling with blue. John wrapped his arms around her gently and she breathed in pure love.

"I won't let you be alone."


End file.
